How to Adopt Without Ruining Your Family
Day 5: Tip #4 – Embrace the Challenges Together
For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken. Eccl. 4:10-12
One of the downfalls of failed adoptive situations is a lack of support. The fault is multifaceted. It’s like choosing to live in a house you know is loaded with an assortment of fire hazards. You just don’t know what they are specifically or where they are located. After the house is burned to the ground, you then point fingers for how the fire began. It isn’t helpful. Nor does it keep your family from losing everything. Identifying the source of the problem after the disaster has destroyed everything we hold near and dear simply offers an explanation.
I think most of us would agree. Know everything we can know about how to prevent a house fire is a must if we are going to choose to live in a hazardous environment. Then we can place safeguards around us in case there is even a spark. The fire department can be on speed dial– and we can practice escape drills.
It sounds silly. But this is exactly what we would do if we were forced to live under such physical conditions. We would never take our chances and go it alone in this type of situation. Why would we take a Rambo approach with adoption?
Adoption should be an experience that brings you together, rather than pulls you apart. Make every effort to be (or get) on the same page. There are a lot of resources currently available. Maybe they work. Maybe they don’t. The key is being together on the issues and to approach life from a Biblical framework, consistently.
We read several books. We sought out at least six specialists in three major cities to secure help for our kids. Several years into this journey, and as little as a week ago, we are addressing an issue that is clearly an orphan issue. We can’t seem to get a handle on it through our tried and true methods, so we are going to try something else I read about in a resource book. I don’t know if it will be effective, but we are in agreement to give it a try.
Involving our older children has also been part of coming together, especially on challenges. This has enabled them to be a part of the solutions as well as recognizing family is not something done to them but with them.
How do you need to come together?